Culinary Delights (and Dislikes)!

Well, we finally found a food that Thandokuhle doesn’t like.  Until this morning she has been an eating machine.  She eats quickly with focus and no talking.  Once her plate is empty she points or nods to show that she wants seconds (usually of meat first and then everything else).  When she is finally finished she carefully places her fork and spoon on her clean plate.  However, the pattern was broken this morning.  We were out of Corn Flakes so I made oatmeal for the girls.  Thandokuhle clearly does not like oatmeal (or at least the South African version).  She took one or two bites and that was it.  Then I had to use some creative sound effects to make the spoon fly into her mouth.  Even with that she ate less than half of a bowl.  We’re suspecting that she has been served oatmeal many times and cannot stand it…

This morning we went to a different grocery store to buy food for some more meals.  I needed to stock up since I hadn’t quite planned on Thandokuhle’s level of food consumption.  At this grocery store I found corn on the cob which Miranda loves.  I made the corn for dinner tonight and Thandokuhle was very clear that she wanted some.  However, she was reluctant to try it and we realized that she had never eaten corn on the cob before.  I held the cob for her and showed her how to take a bite.  It took a few tries and then she finally took a big enough bite to actually bite into the corn.  With that she was off and running and seemed to enjoy her ear of corn.

In keeping with my desire to try local foods, I used peri-peri (also known as the African bird’s eye chili pepper) sauce for the chicken I made tonight.  The grocery store at home carries one type of Nando’s peri-peri sauce.  The grocery store in South Africa has an entire section of peri-peri sauce!  I used a mild peri-peri sauce; however, neither Miranda nor Dad really liked it.  In fact, Thandokuhle ended up eating over half of Miranda’s chicken.  Eating is always an adventure and so dependent on what we’re used to!

Thandokuhle learned a new word today: "icing". We had lemon filled cookies for dessert and Thandokuhle likes to take them apart and lick all the icing off first.  She was very pleased with this method of eating her cookie and kept showing me how she was licking all the icing.  At first she was calling the filling "ice cream" so we had to teach her that it was "icing".  It did not take long for her to master this new word.

Ostrich

This morning we had visitors.

That's right, a family of monkeys were in a fruit tree in the yard.  They were scampering all over until one managed to knock a piece of fruit off the tree.  With that there was a lot of yammering and they ran off to enjoy their stolen treasure.

This morning we visited the medical clinic that is onsite at the orphanage so I could speak with the doctor.  The doctor drives 110 km every Tuesday and Thursday in order to treat the children at the orphanage.  She was very helpful in answering my questions about the medication that Thandokuhle is taking and in giving advice on what I should be feeding Thandokuhle to help her gain weight.

Another errand on today's agenda was to connect with the orphanage social worker to gather any photos they have of Thandokuhle.  He was able to find about 20 images.  However, when I looked at them they only depict 3 days out of her 4 years of life.  I am feeling sad to have so few pictures to help her understand her roots.  The social worker is trying to find photos that others may have so I'm praying that he'll be successful in the search.  One group of photos is from Christmas where she received a stuffed monkey. This is her special stuffed animal that she sleeps with every night and is the one item that the house mother gave me.   So, I'm happy that we have photos of the monkey.

This afternoon we took a long, leisurely walk.  Dad and I were on the lookout for animals and the girls found sticks which provided tons of entertainment including digging into termite mounds and poking in animal droppings.  During the walk I spotted an ostrich-shaped bush.  It was far away and we debated whether it was a bush or an ostrich.  Finally, it turned its head so we knew we were watching an ostrich!

Coincidentally, we had ostrich sausage for dinner tonight.  I have never eaten ostrich meat before and when I saw it at the grocery store I thought it would be fun to try.  The ostrich meat received good reviews from all 4 of us, in case you're looking for something different for tomorrow's dinner.

Beach Day

Today we drove into the city of Durban to visit the beautiful beaches along the Indian Ocean.  We first visited the African Art Centre which is a non-profit organization that supports artistic development and micro-economic advancement among Zulu craftsman.  This was another favorite shop from our last visit and I wanted to buy a telephone wire basket, which is a unique Zulu tradition where baskets are woven from colorful telephone wire.  The selection did not disappoint and I had a hard time choosing which one to purchase.

After shopping we went to the beach.  Durban is famous for its beautiful beaches and great waves.  It was quite windy and a little cold so it was not the ideal beach day.  The girls first played in a shallow wading pool.  Thandokuhle liked the water but became cold rather quickly.  After lunch we went to the beach.   I believe this was Thandokuhle’s first visit to the ocean.  She liked playing in the sand but she was very scared of the waves.  I held her and walked out so water was up to my ankles and she was petrified.  For the first time, I saw Thandokuhle cry.  I tried dancing in the water with her and splashing but she did not want anything to do with it.  I tried having Miranda go in and hold her hand but she was still scared.   She never relaxed when near the water so we focused on playing in the sand.  She liked the sand but was concerned when her hands got dirty.  She would go to the very edge of a wave so she could just get her palms wet to rinse off the sand.  Unfortunately, the wind was blowing the sand so it was not a day for relaxing on the beach.  We went back to the wading pools to enjoy some more time splashing around before the girls got too cold.

We enjoyed a gorgeous view of the beach while eating lunch. 

I was adventurous at lunch and tried Bunny Chow which is a famous Durban dish.  

Bunny Chow is a hollowed out loaf of bread filled with curry.  The portion was huge and there was no way I could eat even half of it.  I am glad I tried it but it is not on my “must have” list.

On the way back to the orphanage there was an accident on the highway which caused major delays.  We were able to take the last exit before the delay and, thanks to the gps on my cell phone, find an alternate route home.  Driving is always an adventure and that added a little more drama than we would have preferred.

More of Thandokuhle’s personality is coming to the surface and she is not quite so quiet as we thought!  She definitely likes to have her own way and is quick to loudly tell Miranda (or tell on Miranda) if Miranda is doing something that Thandokuhle thinks Miranda should not do.  Yet, she smiles easily and loves to have your undivided attention.  She is proud to show off each new thing that she learns and has a big smile at the praise she receives.

A day of rest

This morning we attended the orphanage church.  There is something very freeing about walking to church.  We enjoyed some great Zulu music led by the older children at the orphanage.  We were warmly received by them.  Interestingly, the older children didn’t know Thandokuhle’s name but they knew Miranda.  We were welcomed as “Miranda’s family” and were asked to stand to be greeted with a round of applause.  There is a youth pastor on staff at the orphanage and even though he gave the message in English, I can’t say I got a lot out of it.  I was quite distracted by trying to keep a 4 year old and 5 year old relatively still and quiet.  However, there is something about being in a simple church where the service is led by orphaned teens and looking out the window at the uninhabited hills of a game reserve that is deeply moving.

This afternoon we took another walk through the beautiful hills.  I love the anticipation of scanning the brush to see if you can spot an animal.  Miranda even got excited about looking for signs of animals and excitedly pointed out every mound of poop she saw!  We enjoyed seeing two different herds of wildebeest and then we saw this beauty.

Aside from an occasional electric line we could see nothing manmade and we only heard the sounds of nature.  A great way to spend the afternoon!

Thandokuhle continues to learn English.  She now knows common phrases like “Wash hands” and “Good job”.  She has also learned other words like “no”, “mine”, and “no touching” to prevent Miranda from playing with her toys.  Another favorite is “ouch”.  She loves to listen to books and is starting to learn words that are repeated in them.  It is fun to see her learn a few words each day.

Road Trip

This morning we decided to take Thandokuhle on her first road trip.  As we were leaving we saw our “neighbors”. 

That’s right, a tower of 9-10 giraffes was eating at the top of the hill (there were 3 or 4 more that aren’t in this picture).  Bet you didn’t know that a group of giraffes is called a tower!  I didn’t either and had to look it up.

We drove out of the impoverished area near the orphanage to do some shopping and playing.  Thandokuhle was very anxious and solemn during her first ride in the car but seemed to become more comfortable throughout the day.

We first went to the Shongweni Farmer’s Market where Dad bought an ostrich egg during our last visit.  Unfortunately, we got there right as it was closing so we didn’t do too much shopping.  Thandokuhle was apprehensive at the Farmer’s Market and wanted to be carried the entire time.  I did do some bartering to buy a hand-carved and brightly painted guinea fowl.  They came as a set of three and the craftsman did not want to sell a single bird to me.  His sales tactic was that guinea fowl are always together in the wild and are never by themselves so if I bought a single bird it would cry.  I persevered in my bargaining and convinced him to sell me 2 birds at a little more than half the price for all 3.

Then we stopped at a restaurant for lunch that served gourmet pizza.  Thandokuhle polished off 4 slices of pizza so she’ll fit right in in the US.  However, she was very scared of the hand dryer in the bathroom.

Next we went to another shopping area that was recommended because it has an indoor playground.  I was pleasantly surprised to realize that it was the same shopping center that had my favorite store for Zulu beaded jewelry.  I supported the local economy by buying lots of gifts!  Then we went to the indoor playground and the girls had a fun time on the slides, ball pit, carousel, and various other games.  

I’m sure these were all new activities for Thandokuhle and she was all smiles and peals of laughter.  We ended the playtime with brownies and ice cream which were a big hit.  Our final stop was shopping at a larger grocery store before returning to the orphanage in the early evening.

As we returned to the orphanage we had some interesting driving adventures as we had to wait for a cow to cross the road. (Cows are not fenced in here.  There are usually fences around the houses that keep the cows out).  We also had to wait for a kudu to cross the orphanage drive.  Of course, there were plenty of other obstacles from people walking in the road, cars stopped in the middle of the road, and large potholes.  Driving is always an adventure (and rather stressful)!

It was a great day and fun to see Thandokuhle try new things.  She also consistently reached for me when she was scared and for the first time started to call me “Mommy” instead of “Miss”.

We had several other observations about being in South Africa.  First, we noticed how polite the other drivers are.  We left the Farmer’s Market as the parking lot was emptying and there were lots of cars.  Drivers were patiently alternating and we saw multiple cars letting others in instead of jockeying for position.  We were also reminded again about safety issues and the fact that it is not safe to drive at night.  The restaurant we went to was quite nice and served many main dishes but is only open for breakfast and lunch.  The grocery store was advertising that they have more convenient hours and are now open to 6pm on Saturdays. 

We also had two interesting encounters with other shoppers.  Clearly, our family stands out in South Africa.  It is common to see people of various races but I have not seen any other interracial families.  Strangers feel comfortable to come up and talk to us and the general response is along the lines of “God bless you for what you are doing”.  One couple in the jewelry shop was very impressed with a complimentary remark Miranda made to me, as well as her English language skills and outgoing personality.  They were very friendly and wanted to know where we were from and all about the adoptions.  Another man in the grocery store started talking to Miranda in Zulu and then realized that she was with me.  He was very positive that I have adopted but then went into a long dissertation on how most rich people (black and white) spend what they have on themselves and are not doing anything to help the children.  I did my best to move that conversation along and emphasize the joy that Miranda and now Thandokuhle are bringing to my life.  It certainly is always interesting to hear the perspectives that are shared and, hopefully, we are making a positive impact in our own small way.

Family Time

Thandokuhle slept through the night and woke up all smiles.  She was happy to pick out the clothes she wanted to wear from the stash we had brought with us.  She seemed especially pleased with the shoes and the stars that were on them.

We had a “normal” family day today.  There were many rounds of playing hide-n-seek and running and laughing.  There were several parades with marching Grandpa & children and lots of rides on Grandpa’s shoulders.  Miranda went to “Grandpa School” (complete with the Pledge of Allegiance said to a construction paper flag) to continue with her kindergarten work while I spent time with Thandokuhle.  We read books and did the dolls’ hair.  I started singing “If You’re Happy and You Know It” and realized that she knew the song because she clapped, stomped, and said ‘Amen’ in all the right places!  Thandokuhle was very interested in what Miranda was doing in school so there were several interruptions to Miranda’s learning.

Thandokuhle loves to throw a ball down the long hallway complete with squeals of excitement (she is a leftie and has a pretty good overhand).  She also enjoyed playing with playdoh, rolling it out and using the cookie cutters.  She said new words as she cut out each shape – duck, elephant, bunny, girl, boy, etc. 

It was quite warm today – in the mid-80’s and we enjoyed a walk along the orphanage property and onto the neighboring game preserve.  This area is absolutely beautiful.  We saw wildebeests and large termite mounds.  Yesterday, we saw monkeys and kudu.

I would love to post a few pictures of Thandokuhle but for legal reasons that needs to wait until the adoption is finalized on October 5.

This afternoon we all took long naps – jet lag is catching up to us.  We also visited with Rachel, the orphanage nurse.  Rachel is from the UK and committed to serving at the orphanage for 3 years as a missionary.  It was encouraging to see her joy and enthusiasm as she talked about caring for the children here.  She was able to provide more information on Thandokuhle’s health history and answer some of my questions.  We also visited the social worker this afternoon.  Thandokuhle told her she was very happy and wanted to be with us.  In fact, Thandokuhle walked very slowly up the hill to reach the social worker’s office and looked quite sad, like she was afraid that she would not get to stay with us.  Then she was happy and running when it was time to go back to where we’re staying.  We also visited her house mom again so Thandokuhle has time to process this transition between caregivers.  The house mom was very positive and spoke of Thandokuhle’s flexibility and adaptability which we have already seen.  She also expressed how grateful she is that I’m giving Thandokuhle a home and family which, of course, made me cry.

It is hard to believe that this is only our second day with Thandokuhle, she is transitioning amazingly well.

Play Day!

Today we received a warm reception from Thandokuhle.  When we came to pick her up in the late morning she ran right to Grandpa and gave him a big hug. The orphanage social worker spoke with Thandokuhle and she said she wanted to come play with us.  So she held my hand and Miranda’s hand as we walked back to where we are staying.  (We are staying on the orphanage property but the building is on the side of the property and is 5-7 minute walk from all the children’s homes). 

Thandokuhle had a snack bag of puffed corn which she ate when we were with the social worker.  I noticed that after she finished the snack she used her fingers to wipe all the seasoning out of the bag so she could lick off every last bit of flavor.  So, our first activity was to have an orange for a snack which she completely inhaled.

Playtime was great!  At the beginning she was very quiet and did not say a peep as she dressed the new doll that we had brought.  She watched Miranda’s every move as we played with stickers and crayons.  She really liked the headband we brought for her even though her hair is as short as fuzz.  Then she started to warm up and squealed with laughter as she and Miranda ran up and down the long hallway.  She chattered away, mainly in Zulu but with some English sprinkled in.  Throughout the day we heard more of her English vocabulary.  She knows words like “house” and “monkey” and phrases like “do it again” and “this one”.  She also calls me (and sometimes Dad) “Miss” when she wants help or attention so we’ll have to work on “Mommy”.

We looked through a small photo album we had sent to help know what her new home and family looks like.  She flipped through the photo album again and again and asked the names of her cousins. Her favorite photos seemed to be the playroom and our swingset.  She would point to those pictures and then pat her chest and say “Thandokuhle”.  What a joy to provide such fun places to play!

Lunch went smoothly and to say that Thandokuhle is a good eater is an understatement.  She ate with focus, good manners, and completely cleaned her plate (including using her spoon to eat all the ketchup).  She had seconds on everything.  She is quite tiny and clearly appropriate nutrition will be an important part of her transition to our family.

After playing all afternoon we went back to visit the social worker and Thandokuhle’s house mom.  The social worker asked Thandokuhle in Zulu if she wanted to spend the night with us.  Thandokuhle answered in the tiniest whisper that she did.  So, we returned to our lodging for dinner, more playtime, and bedtime.  Again, Thandokuhle ate all of her dinner by eating the meat first and then when her plate was clean of every tiny bite she had seconds!

We put another mattress in the room where Miranda and I are sleeping so there are 3 twin beds lined up in a row.  Thandokuhle snuggled with her stuffed monkey and both she and Miranda fell right to sleep.  Sweet dreams, little one!

What a great day of playing together and getting to know the sweet, brave girl who is joining our family.  It was also a great day when all five pieces of our luggage arrived intact!

In the land of Zulus

Oh, the adventures of African travel.  We spent 27 hours enjoying the modes of modern transportation, starting with an airport shuttle service to JFK then a 14.5 hour transatlantic flight to Johannesburg, then a connecting flight to Durban, and finally a rental car trip driving a manual transmission on the left hand side of the road.  Even with limited sleep Dad did great driving on the “wrong” side of the road.  We had some problems figuring out how to put the car in reverse but were happy to learn that the first Zulu we asked for help couldn’t figure it out either.  Miranda was a great traveler other than asking “are we there yet” multiple times during the airport shuttle and stating that she was tired of watching movies 1 hour into the 14.5 hour flight. 

We arrived safely but our luggage did not.  The baggage handlers at the Johannesburg airport went on strike just as our arriving flight was unloading the baggage. Some passengers from the flight received their bags, but we were not in that fortunate group.  The strike delayed our connecting flight an hour.  We’re praying that the bags arrive tomorrow and make it here to the orphanage for us.

The drive from the airport to the orphanage is beautiful – filled with large green hills dotted with trees and houses.  Miranda is processing that this is the land where she was born and asked some deep and difficult questions about her story as we drove to the orphanage.

We met the orphanage social worker at a local shopping center and made a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up a few things for dinner tonight.  We then arrived at the orphanage and Miranda was an instant celebrity.  Within 5 minutes of our arrival, Anele, one of her former house sisters was at the gate to hug her and then Mama Doris, her former house mom was there.  Other children came to say hi and call out “Merri, Merri, Meer-randa” All were thrilled to see her and gave big hugs and chattered in exuberant Zulu.  They were disappointed to find that Miranda has forgotten all her Zulu and could not understand them.  Miranda was overwhelmed by all the attention but by the end of the day was just giving hugs to everyone.

Then came the special moment.  We had a few minutes to meet Thandokuhle, also nicknamed “Bird" or "Birdie”.  She came into the social worker’s office with bare feet and a shy smile.  She sat on my lap and leaned into my shoulder.  Miranda sat on my other leg thrilled to meet her sister but not quite sure what to say.  Thandokuhle was completely quiet and I couldn’t tell how much of my words she understood.  However, I asked how old she was and she quickly held up 4 fingers!!  Then I asked her to lead Miranda and I to the little house where she lives with her house mom.  So, she took each of our hands and walked with us to House #8 where we met her house mom and saw the bedroom where she sleeps.  There were more shy smiles as I asked if she likes to play with dolls, games, and trampolines.  We kept our visit brief to not overwhelm her and promised we would come play tomorrow.  And so our adoption journey begins with a sweet, small smile…  

Overall, the day was so much easier than our first adoption trip.  We remembered lots of details about the surrounding country and the orphanage as we drove through.  I was more prepared for the boisterous welcome of the orphanage children and the overwhelmed feeling of meeting a tiny child who will join our family.  Miranda is connecting pieces of who she is and is recognizing that she used to speak a different language. And now jet lag is catching up with me…

Final Preparations

With heightened anticipation we finish our final day of preparations:

- Bags are packed
- Movies are downloaded on the iPad to occupy Miranda during the long flight
- The refrigerator is cleaned out  (that should have occurred awhile ago:)
- Copies of travel information are printed
- Clothes and toys are ready for Miriam

And bright and early Tuesday morning we are off...ready for an amazing adventure!

Acts of Kindness

Sometimes we have the honor of participating in other people's acts of kindness.  In my case, I have the privilege of bringing gifts to the children living at the Lily of the Valley Children's Village.

A group of ladies from our church meet once a month to knit or crochet together.  Like many knitting circles they meet to socialize and perfect their craft.   Yet, in this group they have another purpose. They are making items to give to others - lap blankets for the nursing home, baby items for the hospitals, and gifts for children living in orphanages.  They have been storing their handiwork and this week another adoptive mom and I were honored to choose items to take to the orphanages we will be visiting. 

So, as I pack our suitcases this weekend they will contain

Thank you, ladies, for your generosity.  I am honored to have a small part in bringing joy to children living in a South African orphanage.

Final Week Countdown

One week from today we board the plane to South Africa...

After 18 months of planning, preparation, prayer, and lots of paperwork we are about to embark on an amazing adventure.

Miranda is so excited for a sister but doesn't really know what it means to have to share her toys and Mommy's attention.

I am busy making lists and checking them twice:
- Vaccinations.  check.
- Travel arrangements. check.
- Paperwork finished.  One more to go.
- Bags packed.  Not yet

And so we prepare for the 4 year old who will change our lives, Miriam Thandokuhle.