Today we met with the legal team who has been handling all the government interactions here in South Africa. They explained what will happen at our court hearing tomorrow. Since it is a Children's Court it is less formal than other courts and our hearing should take about 30 minutes. Barring any unforeseen complications the adoption will be finalized tomorrow. Wow! After a process of 2 years and 9 months I will officially be a mother. YAY!
They also went through the process of what happens next - changing Miranda's name, getting her a new birth certificate and passport, etc. They gave me a 4 page document with all the details of what form needs to be filled out when, how many certified copies I need of each document, and when I need to go to which court. I started taking notes at the beginning but then they moved into high gear and I got a little lost in the details. (Also, I had a "helper" with my note taking which was a little distracting. Miranda decided she wanted to write whenever Mommy wrote something down so there are lots of scribbles all over my notebook). They also included details like "the office manager, Ms. P, is off every Thursday so you can't go to the court on a Thursday because things go so much more smoothly when she's there". Of course, that is valuable information to know, it was just a little overwhelming. At least I know what I need to do tomorrow and that is the most important step!
The team was really happy to meet us and see Miranda with us. They are the ones who actually matched Miranda with my application and they were so excited to see us interact. Miranda was quite the ham and said "cheese" and gave big, toothy smiles for them when they took photos of her.
In 2012 my life was forever changed when I became Miranda's mom. Now we return to South Africa to adopt a little sister, Miriam Thandokuhle
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Exploring
This morning Miranda was awake and playing in her pack'n'play when I woke up. I kept still and just watched her. First, I noticed that she was scraping the sheet again and again and I couldn't figure out what she was doing. Then, I realized she was trying to smooth out the wrinkles (which was impossible because the sheet isn't the right size for the mattress). Then her foot hit a stuffed animal that rattled so she sat up to investigate that. She shook the lamb but that didn't rattle, then she shook the dog and it did rattle. Then she shook the dog really hard to see how loud it would sound. Next, she ran her hand along the netting on the sides and tried to push her fingers in the holes. It was fun to watch her investigate her world.
This afternoon Miranda was playing in the pot of water and doing lots of splashing. Then disaster struck - a dog came and took a drink out of her pot! Miranda did not like that at all. As soon as the dog came near to us she ran over and climbed into my lap. Then she pulled her feet up so there was no possibility of the dog touching her feet. Even when sitting in my lap she would not reach out to touch the dog. She was very alert to the location of the dog the rest of the time we were outside.
As Miranda spends more time with us she is quickly increasing her English vocabulary. She is also very quick to imitate what we say and do, including curling her tongue, blowing raspberries, and humming (we have to make sure we are teaching her things we really want her to learn :)
Miranda is starting to exhibit some nap avoidance techniques. One day I read books to her until she fell asleep. Now, she refuses to even look at a book if it is close to naptime and actually pushes the book closed. I usually rock her and sing to her until she falls asleep, so the last two days she has run away when I went to pick her up at naptime. Then, this afternoon she was following me and I walked into the bedroom. As soon as she saw where we were, she tried to run back out the door but Dad was there and blocked her escape.
Miranda continues to be a big eater. We had Swedish meatballs for dinner and she ate 5 meatballs, several scoops of noodles, and quite a few carrots. Then when we cleared the table she found a noodle that had fallen on the floor and was ready to pop that in her mouth, too! I went to talk with her house mom today and I asked her how she knows when Miranda has had enough to eat. She said that Miranda will leave food on her plate and not eat anymore when she is full. Well, this has not yet happened with us. She always clears her plate. We sometimes notice that she is starting to eat slower but usually she shovels it in at a pretty fast pace!
Today a social worker interviewed Dad and I to evaluate the level of bonding that Miranda has with me. The social worker then has to write a report for the court hearing that we have this week. Our court date was originally scheduled for Thursday but has been moved to Wednesday. The social worker was pleased with our bonding and felt comfortable recommending that the adoption be finalized. She was very helpful to talk to as she also adopted a toddler as a single parent and her daughter is now grown.
Animal sighting of the day...Dad, Miranda, and I walked on a trail that borders the game reserve and we startled a very large lizard that was in the grass. It scurried across the path and into the brush so fast that there was no time for a picture. Dad and I had a discussion on whether we saw a lizard or a crocodile but agreed it was a lizard. We both thought it was about 3 feet in length!
This afternoon Miranda was playing in the pot of water and doing lots of splashing. Then disaster struck - a dog came and took a drink out of her pot! Miranda did not like that at all. As soon as the dog came near to us she ran over and climbed into my lap. Then she pulled her feet up so there was no possibility of the dog touching her feet. Even when sitting in my lap she would not reach out to touch the dog. She was very alert to the location of the dog the rest of the time we were outside.
As Miranda spends more time with us she is quickly increasing her English vocabulary. She is also very quick to imitate what we say and do, including curling her tongue, blowing raspberries, and humming (we have to make sure we are teaching her things we really want her to learn :)
Miranda is starting to exhibit some nap avoidance techniques. One day I read books to her until she fell asleep. Now, she refuses to even look at a book if it is close to naptime and actually pushes the book closed. I usually rock her and sing to her until she falls asleep, so the last two days she has run away when I went to pick her up at naptime. Then, this afternoon she was following me and I walked into the bedroom. As soon as she saw where we were, she tried to run back out the door but Dad was there and blocked her escape.
Miranda continues to be a big eater. We had Swedish meatballs for dinner and she ate 5 meatballs, several scoops of noodles, and quite a few carrots. Then when we cleared the table she found a noodle that had fallen on the floor and was ready to pop that in her mouth, too! I went to talk with her house mom today and I asked her how she knows when Miranda has had enough to eat. She said that Miranda will leave food on her plate and not eat anymore when she is full. Well, this has not yet happened with us. She always clears her plate. We sometimes notice that she is starting to eat slower but usually she shovels it in at a pretty fast pace!
Today a social worker interviewed Dad and I to evaluate the level of bonding that Miranda has with me. The social worker then has to write a report for the court hearing that we have this week. Our court date was originally scheduled for Thursday but has been moved to Wednesday. The social worker was pleased with our bonding and felt comfortable recommending that the adoption be finalized. She was very helpful to talk to as she also adopted a toddler as a single parent and her daughter is now grown.
Animal sighting of the day...Dad, Miranda, and I walked on a trail that borders the game reserve and we startled a very large lizard that was in the grass. It scurried across the path and into the brush so fast that there was no time for a picture. Dad and I had a discussion on whether we saw a lizard or a crocodile but agreed it was a lizard. We both thought it was about 3 feet in length!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Grumpy Mommy
Miranda woke up at 6:30am this morning and I definitely was not ready to get up that early. I have not been sleeping well with her right beside me. I wake up when she makes too much noise and I wake up when she is too quiet.
I thought it would be good to spend some time out of the lodge today (it gets tiring being in the same building all the time and if we go outside near the road to Miranda's house she wants to go back there). We ran errands so I could make prints of photos I took of Miranda's house sisters to give them as gifts. We also stopped at the grocery store since we were out of Miranda's favorites - grapes & bananas. Miranda was very wide-eyed riding around in the front of the grocery cart during her first excursion to a grocery store.
This afternoon Miranda was looking very sleepy and I was tired as well, so I laid down with her on the bed for her nap. Well, I dozed off for a few minutes and woke up to see her there with eyes wide open. I tried patting, singing, rocking, laying still and nothing worked to get her to fall asleep. Meanwhile, I was feeling rather groggy and desperately wanting to sleep. After 45 minutes of trying to get her to sleep she was becoming more awake and talking and bouncing as I rocked her. So, I finally gave up on the idea of a nap (for her or for me). Needless to say, this did not put me in the best frame of mind for the afternoon. I was tired and easily annoyed.
Miranda ended up taking a catnap around 5:30 and was unhappy when she woke up around 6:00. Dad kept her entertained while I made dinner. She is always happy and smiling while eating, so dinner went well. She was fine with an early bath and had fun pouring cups of water on her head! When I put her to bed she laid down without a peep...now it is just Mommy who needs some sleep :)
I thought it would be good to spend some time out of the lodge today (it gets tiring being in the same building all the time and if we go outside near the road to Miranda's house she wants to go back there). We ran errands so I could make prints of photos I took of Miranda's house sisters to give them as gifts. We also stopped at the grocery store since we were out of Miranda's favorites - grapes & bananas. Miranda was very wide-eyed riding around in the front of the grocery cart during her first excursion to a grocery store.
This afternoon Miranda was looking very sleepy and I was tired as well, so I laid down with her on the bed for her nap. Well, I dozed off for a few minutes and woke up to see her there with eyes wide open. I tried patting, singing, rocking, laying still and nothing worked to get her to fall asleep. Meanwhile, I was feeling rather groggy and desperately wanting to sleep. After 45 minutes of trying to get her to sleep she was becoming more awake and talking and bouncing as I rocked her. So, I finally gave up on the idea of a nap (for her or for me). Needless to say, this did not put me in the best frame of mind for the afternoon. I was tired and easily annoyed.
Miranda ended up taking a catnap around 5:30 and was unhappy when she woke up around 6:00. Dad kept her entertained while I made dinner. She is always happy and smiling while eating, so dinner went well. She was fine with an early bath and had fun pouring cups of water on her head! When I put her to bed she laid down without a peep...now it is just Mommy who needs some sleep :)
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Tala Game Reserve
Today we had the opportunity to visit the game reserve that borders the orphanage (remember, there is no fence between where we are staying and the game reserve...) One of the teachers from the orphanage drove us through the reserve in a four wheel drive vehicle from the orphanage. We saw lots of animals up close (and I mean up close)! There are no large predators at the reserve and the animals seemed to ignore the cars.
A massive male giraffe crossed the road right in front of our car.
Rhinos are massive animals when seen up close. These 2 were drinking at the lake and then decided to come walk on the road where we were parked. I'm glad I wasn't driving because I probably would have stalled once I knew they were walking behind us. They then crossed to the other side of the road and continued walking through the grass. They are definitely fierce looking animals!
Miranda's favorite animals were the zebras and she loved saying the word "zebra" :) The babies are especially sweet.
This evening Miranda seemed sad and wanted to go see her house mom (I now recognize those words in Zulu). Whenever we went outside she wanted to walk up the hill towards her house. We had already invited her house sister, Andiswa, to come play with her. As soon as Andiswa arrived Miranda said "Bye, Bye" because she thought she was leaving with Andiswa to go back to her house. Miranda was out of sorts and did not even want to play with Andiswa at first. Then they had a great time playing before dinner.
After dinner they were playing outside and I noticed that Miranda was becoming very demanding. She would cry whenever she didn't get her way and was not sharing any toys. She cried when I said it was time to come in. She was clearly tired from a big day and upset about the transition to living with us. Once inside she refused to share a book...sounds like typical two year old behavior! I said it was time for Andiswa to go home and Miranda launched into full-scale screaming mode. The worst thing was that another adoptive family is staying here and their little girl was spending the night for the first time tonight. Miranda's screams caused the other little girl to start crying, too. Dad took Andiswa home and I tried to calm Miranda down. She was fine getting her bath and then started to scream again as soon as we walked into the bedroom. Thankfully, the screaming didn't last long. She was definitely one tired little girl and finally settled down and went to sleep.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Sleeping!
Shhh! Miranda is sleeping. Yes, Miranda is spending the night with us for the first time. It took a little while for her to fall asleep and I sang every song I could think of but there wasn't too much crying. Yay! This is an answer to prayer because I was definitely nervous about how it would go when she realized she wasn't going back to her house to sleep.
This morning we visited a "baby orphanage" where Miranda lived about a year ago. The caregivers were happy to see Miranda and how much she has grown. They were also pleased to meet us. It was helpful to learn more about her early life and see the excellent care she received. The orphanage was founded by a Christian couple and right now there are 8 or 9 children living there from ages 2 weeks to about 1 year. They said they have cared for about 600 children in the last 14-15 years. The orphanage was bright and cheery and very clean. It was in a much wealthier area. The houses were high on a cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean. I have attached a photo that I took from the car as we drove past.
Today was a hot day, so we put on Miranda's swimsuit and let her play in the water from the hose. I don't think she had ever done this before, so there was not as much splashing as this activity normally involves. However, she seemed quite happy to stand there in the spray from the hose.
We were trying to keep Miranda busy and distracted this evening so she wouldn't be upset about staying here. Thankfully, we found two activities that were big hits. First, we gave her some play jewelry, including earrings that reached her shoulders. She loved the jewelry and wore it the rest of the night (having older house sisters has influenced this interest!) Then Dad found some musical instruments - tambourines and maracas. She loved playing with these and we started marching around the lodge. The lodge has a very long hall so we marched up and down it again and again. It was a wonderful distraction and I have a feeling that this game will happen many more times.
I gave Miranda a bath before bed - the American version of bathtime. When I helped with Miranda's bath at her house I noticed that there was no play - it was just get in the tub, get washed, and get out. So, I gave her different toys to play with in the tub and she loved pouring water on herself and from one container to the next. With that success it was time for bed. Miranda is sleeping in a "camp cot" (i.e. pack-n-play) beside my bed. Let's hope she sleeps well all night.
This morning we visited a "baby orphanage" where Miranda lived about a year ago. The caregivers were happy to see Miranda and how much she has grown. They were also pleased to meet us. It was helpful to learn more about her early life and see the excellent care she received. The orphanage was founded by a Christian couple and right now there are 8 or 9 children living there from ages 2 weeks to about 1 year. They said they have cared for about 600 children in the last 14-15 years. The orphanage was bright and cheery and very clean. It was in a much wealthier area. The houses were high on a cliff overlooking the Indian Ocean. I have attached a photo that I took from the car as we drove past.
Today was a hot day, so we put on Miranda's swimsuit and let her play in the water from the hose. I don't think she had ever done this before, so there was not as much splashing as this activity normally involves. However, she seemed quite happy to stand there in the spray from the hose.
We were trying to keep Miranda busy and distracted this evening so she wouldn't be upset about staying here. Thankfully, we found two activities that were big hits. First, we gave her some play jewelry, including earrings that reached her shoulders. She loved the jewelry and wore it the rest of the night (having older house sisters has influenced this interest!) Then Dad found some musical instruments - tambourines and maracas. She loved playing with these and we started marching around the lodge. The lodge has a very long hall so we marched up and down it again and again. It was a wonderful distraction and I have a feeling that this game will happen many more times.
I gave Miranda a bath before bed - the American version of bathtime. When I helped with Miranda's bath at her house I noticed that there was no play - it was just get in the tub, get washed, and get out. So, I gave her different toys to play with in the tub and she loved pouring water on herself and from one container to the next. With that success it was time for bed. Miranda is sleeping in a "camp cot" (i.e. pack-n-play) beside my bed. Let's hope she sleeps well all night.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Grumpy Miranda
Today was a fairly quiet day at home. This morning Miranda seemed rather grumpy. She did not want to play with any of her toys. In fact, she picked up the toys and put them away. If you tried to interest her in something she would take it and put it back where it belonged. Dad and I thought this was rather funny so I picked up a picture book and took it over to the couch to see what she would do. She came right over to me, took the book, and put it back where it belonged! Then I opened the Duplo blocks and started putting a few together. She came over, put the blocks back in the bag, and then zipped the bag shut.
We though she was hilarious. Other two year olds throw toys or lay on the floor and kick and scream when they are fussy and mad. Not Miranda, she put all the toys away and if she was not going to play with them, then no one was going to play with them! This is definitely a trait I hope she keeps :)
Actually, we finally realized that she was tired. I picked her up and held her in my lap and she fell asleep within minutes.
We went for a walk this afternoon. We walked past a chicken coop and I absently started counting the chickens and Miranda started counting with me. She clearly has practiced counting in English in preschool. Throughout the rest of the walk I would count to ten and she would echo me. Then we would cheer every time we got to ten.
Miranda was the most happy and animated as we were making dinner. She was running from room to room laughing. She would run into the kitchen to see what I was doing then run back out. Setting and clearing the table is still one of her favorite activities.
After dinner we walked up the hill back to her house. She was laughing and happily yelling the same phrase over and over again. Another girl walked down to meet us and I asked her what Miranda was saying. She said Miranda was yelling "mom, mom" over and over. Miranda knew that we were walking back to her house and that she would see her house mother. Even though I know that it is best that Miranda is strongly attached to her house mother, I long for the day when she will be that excited to see me. Of course, when she got to the house she ran in and ran right past her house mother in order to see what the other girls were eating in the kitchen.
As I left Miranda's house, Andiswa was waiting outside to walk with me. I told her that Miranda is going to start sleeping with us tomorrow and Andiswa asked if she could sleep with us, too. I had to tell her that she can't stay with us but I did say we would invite her to come play with Miranda. The emotions of this transition are hard to handle. I know Miranda will be upset when she can't see her house mom and sisters and I know they will miss her, too.
We though she was hilarious. Other two year olds throw toys or lay on the floor and kick and scream when they are fussy and mad. Not Miranda, she put all the toys away and if she was not going to play with them, then no one was going to play with them! This is definitely a trait I hope she keeps :)
Actually, we finally realized that she was tired. I picked her up and held her in my lap and she fell asleep within minutes.
We went for a walk this afternoon. We walked past a chicken coop and I absently started counting the chickens and Miranda started counting with me. She clearly has practiced counting in English in preschool. Throughout the rest of the walk I would count to ten and she would echo me. Then we would cheer every time we got to ten.
Miranda was the most happy and animated as we were making dinner. She was running from room to room laughing. She would run into the kitchen to see what I was doing then run back out. Setting and clearing the table is still one of her favorite activities.
After dinner we walked up the hill back to her house. She was laughing and happily yelling the same phrase over and over again. Another girl walked down to meet us and I asked her what Miranda was saying. She said Miranda was yelling "mom, mom" over and over. Miranda knew that we were walking back to her house and that she would see her house mother. Even though I know that it is best that Miranda is strongly attached to her house mother, I long for the day when she will be that excited to see me. Of course, when she got to the house she ran in and ran right past her house mother in order to see what the other girls were eating in the kitchen.
As I left Miranda's house, Andiswa was waiting outside to walk with me. I told her that Miranda is going to start sleeping with us tomorrow and Andiswa asked if she could sleep with us, too. I had to tell her that she can't stay with us but I did say we would invite her to come play with Miranda. The emotions of this transition are hard to handle. I know Miranda will be upset when she can't see her house mom and sisters and I know they will miss her, too.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Visiting the Animal Park
Today we took Miranda to the "Duck and Deck" Animal Park (i.e. petting zoo). The owner of the park is a long-time supporter of the orphanage. Miranda got to see lots of new animals at the park. They had different varieties of ducks, geese, and chickens, as well as pigs, goats, burros, emus, cows, donkeys, ponies, rabbits, and a few others. At first Miranda was rather timid. She would step back whenever the animals came near the fence. Then two young goats managed to climb out of their pens and come beg for food (each child received a bag of pellet feed). Miranda definitely did not like the goats coming right up to her and wanted me to hold her away from them. However, she got really excited when she saw the rabbits. After seeing the rabbits she was much more interested in all the other animals. (She even watched the young goats as they climbed on the slide at the playground but was still a little shy of them). She also seemed to like the pigs. We fed the pigs a banana peel and she thought this was great. Then she "helped" feed the burro some of the pellet feed. Dad would give her a handful of pellets and she would hand them to me and I would feed the burro. She wanted to feed the pellets herself but wouldn't open up the palm of her hand. We also noticed that she tried a few pellets to see how they tasted (even though I tried to stop her from putting them in her mouth). Ugh!
Miranda has definitely gotten comfortable riding in her car seat and climbed right up into it this morning. She dozed off in the seat both to and from the animal park.
I took some photos of houses that we pass as we leave the orphanage. Most of the houses are rectangular, but some are round. Some people believe that evil spirits lurk in the corners of the house so they build a round house.
Miranda has definitely gotten comfortable riding in her car seat and climbed right up into it this morning. She dozed off in the seat both to and from the animal park.
I took some photos of houses that we pass as we leave the orphanage. Most of the houses are rectangular, but some are round. Some people believe that evil spirits lurk in the corners of the house so they build a round house.
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