Home Away from Home

We stayed home today! Yay!  We needed some time to relax and re-establish a more normal schedule.  Miranda had Grandpa School in the morning which gave me time to read to Thandokuhle.  We took a walk in the complex where we are staying.  We “splashed” in the pool which was absolutely frigid but, of course, the girls wouldn’t admit they were cold until their teeth were chattering.  This property borders Gordon’s Bay which is part of a larger bay, called False Bay, which feeds into the ocean.  The view is beautiful with the beach and mountains in the background.  Miranda and I had a great time walking on the sand and collecting seashells.  Many of the shells are spiral and different from any I’m seen on the East Coast of the US.  Thandokuhle continues to be scared of the waves.  She rode on Grandpa’s shoulders and basically cried the entire time (even though she did smile for the picture).

 

We are hearing a lot more crying from Thandokuhle. I now recognize that she cries in four different circumstances:

-          When she is scared.  Her main fears that we've seen so far are the ocean, dogs (this may have been copied from her older sister), hand dryers, and vacuum cleaners.  When she states her fear her syntax is very cute.  She says "that dog is scaring me" or "Grandpa is scaring me" (because he was vacuuming) instead of saying "I'm scared of the dog".

-          When she gets in trouble.  I’ve tried to be rather “light” on discipline in order to focus on attachment.  However, I have addressed a few critical areas related to safety, such as running away instead of holding my hand to walk across the road.  Today's very soft scolding produced lots of tears.

-          When she doesn’t get her way.  Thandokuhle definitely has strong opinions and wants to do things her way.  Her view is “no sleeping” is needed at naptime and when I made her put her pajamas on instead of running around after her bath that resulted in crying and struggling. Sometimes, I can "tease" her out of these tears by tickling her or singing a song.

-          When she misses her house mom.  She cried at bedtime several nights in a row but seems better if I stay with her until she falls asleep.  

I’m trying to look at the bright side - she is starting to express her emotions and knows that her tears will result in being comforted.  Of course, hearing lots of crying isn’t my preference! 

Miranda is doing well in being a big sister and often tries to be a good example, provide comfort, and help Thandokuhle follow instructions.  For the most part they play well together...with a few squabbles now and then.