Transition Day

Yesterday the word of the day was “no”.  Today’s phrase of the day was “Zipper Mouth”.  I don’t know where Thandokuhle learned this but a few days ago while getting a bath she said “Zipper Mouth” complete with the motion of zipping her lips.  Miranda found this very funny which encouraged the use of the phrase.  Thandokuhle’s has been saying it a few times a day but today was “Zipper Mouth” day.  At the table she happily told Miranda to “Zipper Mouth”, while taking a walk she told me to “Zipper Mouth”, while laying down to take a nap she said “Zipper Mouth”, and on and on it went.  Since the phrase “Zipper Mouth” results in gales of laughter from Miranda and big smiles from Thandokuhle, I have a feeling we’ll be hearing it a lot!

This morning we attended the orphanage church.  I tried to be prepared with books for the girls to look at so we would be less distracting during the service, but I don’t think I succeeded in that.  Thandokuhle sat in 3 different places throughout the service.  Initially she sat with girls from her house then she came to sit with us.  One of Miranda’s former house sisters, Farruse, who is probably in her early teens but has mental delays wanted to be with me the entire service.  She sat next to me, wanted me to hug her during the singing, and then sat on my lap.  I figured she just needed a little love this morning.  However, Miranda is already feeling a little sensitive about not having my full attention so having 2 other children vying for my attention was hard on her.  As a result, she wanted to sit on my lap to feel a little more secure. 

In general, I would describe today as a transition day where we are all figuring out how to be a family.  I had to tell Thandokuhle that there is no hitting and that she can’t just hit Miranda to get her way.  I had to comfort Miranda who was crying because Thandokuhle didn’t want her help.  Then after the girls were in bed Miranda called to tell me that Thandokuhle was crying.  Thandokuhle has been very subtle in her emotions and grieving up to this point.  We noticed several times in the last few days where she looked very somber when she sees the other children from the orphanage. However, tonight was the first that I have seen her cry with sadness (although Miranda said she also cried last night).  Thandokuhle cried almost silently and rubbed her eyes.  When I asked if she was sad about missing her house mom and the other girls in her house she gave me the slightest nod.  I stayed to hug her and rub her back until she fell asleep.  She has been such a strong little girl and I know that grieving is a natural part of this transition, but still I ache for her and the loss she is experiencing.